Well I've been rather caught up in personal business this week.

I'm trying to step back and see things with the right glasses. Thinking a lot about the episodes of Greys Anatomy and Private Practice (and, embarrassingly, even Desperate Housewives) that I watched today. They're substituting for good quality girl talk these days.

It's February now, but I don't really feel like much has happened around here. Next week is Lunar New Year and Stephanie is coming down--so I am uber excited. I haven't seen her in like a month! And we're in the same country! That's absolutely bogus.

I bought a new sketchbook yesterday, and I spent almost all day working on a new drawing. It's not my favorite black-spiral bound 9x12 Canson, but... well I have to learn how to see past the little things to make the right big picture. I spent this weekend pretty low key. Friday I went out and had a good time, at--of course--Sponge. I like getting to know people, but I'm so depressed about not speaking Korean sometimes. I know there are some really interesting people at Sponge... and I'm also kind of fascinated with the bartenders. Funny story about that, actually, I totally made a Korean fail-speak, and got the awesome female bartender's attention by calling her "nuna" which is the word for older sister--when a boy speaks it. Haha, I realized a few days later why she gave me a weird look. Epic fail. 

Anyway not being able to figure out these folks' stories is making me sad.

For instance, this one girl--a friend of a friend--I think she has this epicly cool personality. She's a lot of fun, has a lot of energy, and seems like a strong, independent woman. But she speaks almost no English, and so whenever I communicate with her, it's through another friend. We had an epic dance party one Saturday, and that's about the extent of our ability to communicate. I'd love to get to know her better, but it's impossible. But cheers to her, for being cool.

Anyway, since I've been so wrapped up, another friend told me that I should really try to just see everybody as everybody and try to love them just for what they are. I've been having some troubles with my coworker, and I know that I *should* just look at it like he's my dumb big brother with no sense--but sometimes I just can't get past the douchebaggery. I don't know what the more mature thing to do is. Should I walk away and simply be civil at work, or should I make an effort to 'see the good' and return to 'dumb big brother' status? Which is healthier in the long run?

I've been thinking a lot about boundaries lately, and I'm realizing that I am often "all in" or "all out"--and often not in healthy ways. One thing can push me over the edge, and then I'm "all out", because before I put forth an effort, and let people take pieces of me, so that I can be "all in." This is certainly true about relationships, but when I'm abroad, or in a new place, this is true about almost all new friendships, too. How much do I let new friends "take from me", so that I can be "all in", when it comes to a certain place or a certain experience?

For example--when I first got here, I went out with Becca and her friends a lot on the weekend. Once I came over and they decided that my outfit wasn't good enough, so they completely redressed me. And I looked hawt. Did they take a piece of me? Sort of--they conformed me to their fashion style. Did it hurt? No. Did I feel good about it? Yeah of course. I felt awesome and I really appreciated looking good and going to the bar. But the piece was there. Just like it's there when people insist that I finish drinks at dinner. Or get another drink. Or when people at work pressure me into taking opinions that I don't really want to take.

What I'm really thinking about are the pieces that I feel get taken when I'm in a "new" place. I meet new people and I find new ways to express myself, and I fit into a new social scene. And the pieces get taken, little pieces that I don't notice. Like when I finish a drink that I know will make me drunk even though I don't want to be drunk. Or when I put up with someone asking me personal questions that I find offensive, but I push away that feeling because I don't want to be angry or cause trouble--and I just want to get along. I just want to be comfortable. I put up with it because in a foreign country you have less choices, and you just don't want to be lonely.

So I put up with things that take pieces. I let people take pieces. That's the most disturbing part of it. But I'm recognizing it now. I did this in Ghana too. I let people take parts of me that I didn't want to give, but I didn't feel like I had a choice, because... well when you're in a foreign country, you need people around you who understand. You get the "I don't want to give this" mixed up with the "I'm traveling and I have to be flexible". The boundaries are so unclear between "healthy human" and "healthy traveler." This time I understand what's happening, though, and I'm debating: do I go "all out" and refuse to let any more pieces be taken (like cutting people off), or do I learn how to do certain things without loosing those pieces (like setting better boundaries, and speaking up for myself, and knowing more clearly what I think is appropriate and what isn't)?

Obviously both are necessary, but how do you know when one is the more rational decision? How do you know when you're doing one when you should be doing the other?

Anyway, just thinking. Now I'm going to go for a bike ride and turn in. Nice relaxing day. I finished my painting work and walked to the Noeun temple with Kristen and had a great talk. (Which prompted all this blahblahblah.)

Also--

One thing that I just HAVE to write, that I forgot about in the previous post.

Ingenious Korean Inventions #1: Key activated circuit breaker
In this hotel room, in order to turn on the lights, air conditioning, fan, tv--everything--you need to plug the key into an adapter in the foyer. This means two things: that forgetful people NEVER waste energy, and that forgetful people NEVER lose their keys in their own room. For someone like me, who would forget her own head if she could, this is probably the best thing since sliced bread. I will never forget my keys when I leave, or lose it in my bed, or leave the air on while I'm gone for 8 hours. Woo!

Annyeong haseyo!

WOW! .. Yeah I'm not really sure where to start.

You will notice that I am awake at 7:30am. At home it's 5.30 pm. This is strange because usually when you are jetlagged, you can't sleep when you wouldn't sleep normally. However, I am the queen of napping through the evening, so I can't figure out why I was wide awake this early. Who knows! It is a mystery of the universe.

Anyhow, yesterday I was up even earlier, 6:00am, which means that I had a pretty jam packed day. I started training yesterday, which basically consisted of my boss showing me where the teacher's guides are, and then letting me sit in on five classes. It wasn't until the two last classes, that had American teachers, that I really started to understand what my job would be like. It sounds stressful and confusing, and it kind of is, but this is the way I learn--I refer to it as the "if you throw her in the pool, she will learn to swim" method. Now I would never teach a child how to swim like that, mostly because that endangers their lives, but this is how I best learn new jobs. It just takes a big toll on you the first week or so.

I am surprised at how calm I am about things. I remember the first time I went abroad on my own--to London--I was nervous about this, and that, and all these different things. This time I am just at ease. I think it's because I'm older and better traveled, but also my bosses have put me at ease. They are great people, very kind.

I am staying at a hotel right now, because the teacher I am replacing is still in my apartment. He is leaving tonight, but my bosses said that they wanted to clean the apartment before I moved in. (Good plan!) I am really excited to have my own place--decorate everything, make myself at home. Of course, I do like the (free) broadband internet that the hotel offers... and the self-making bed and self-folding towels, haha. Anyway, though, I started to say that because wen I arrived, I pretty quickly realized that the power outlets in Korea are recessed, meaning that my converter plug wouldn't fit! It is big and square, and the outlets have round holes. (Pondering the situation, I decided that recessed outlets are silly and don't make any sense, but maybe it helps with tripping on a chord and breaking it.) I went to have lunch with my bosses, and I mentioned this problem to them, and Mr. Kim ran off and bought me an extender! I was so happy!

Okay so a note about food. FOOD IS AMAZING. Mr. Kim and Mrs. Park took me to a Japanese fusion restaurant for lunch yesterday. I had some kind of fried meat (pork or chicken) with sweet potatoes stuffed inside. Mr. Kim had the same thing only the stuffing was cheese! CHEESE! NO WAY MAN. I don't know if that is an anomaly in Korea--to have so much cheese in one meal--but I know where I will be eating if I am having a craving for a cheesy deliciousness. For dinner, we went to a restaurant where you cook your own vegetables and meat. I went with Mr. Kim and Mrs. Park and Rebecca, the other American teacher at my school. She is interesting and does well with the kids. I sat in on a class with her that was VERY rambunctious, but at least they were rambunctious and speaking English, haha.

The curriculum is simple, and I think it will be easy to learn. It's even all online, so I can check it out on my laptop! That is what I intend to be doing for the AHH million hours that I have before I need to go to work. Mr. Kim is coming to pick me up, because.. well, I don't actually know how to get from my hotel to my school. Hehe. Like I said, I'm being pretty laid back about things.

Anyway... overall I am doing well!! I am tired, but I am so excited about living here! The eye has plenty of things to feast on, from the distant mountains (!!!) to grandmothers sitting on the street selling their produce. Just from briefly walking on the street yesterday, I feel like this is going to be a fascinating fusion of old and new... where you can have a farmer sitting on the ground with beans for sale on top of a subway tunnel and next to the kind of clothing shop that would be at home on 5th Avenue.

This is going to be great, I can tell.

Well, everyone. My time in the Twin Cities is growing very short. I now have almost everything I need to depart. My plane ticket is scheduled for September 1st. I've visited Chicago and handed over my passport to be scrutinized by the Korean Consular Authorities... they have also 'scrutinized' ME, by asking me the same questions the recruiters all asked me on the phone. If I didn't have ulterior motives for going to Chicago, I would be just a little annoyed. Now all I have to do is wait for them to mail my passport back to me. It's a little nerve wracking, I'd say, to trust the US Postal Service with your passport, especially on such a time constraint.

The visa interview was a little surreal. The consulate is this gorgeous suite in the NBC Tower in Chicago. Chicago is great because it's this enormous city built on a river and a lake. There are waterways between these skyscrapers. It was raining and misty when I arrived on the 27th floor, and while I waited for my name to be called, I stared lazily out the window as buildings disappeared and reappeared in the fog. It was gorgeous. The other surreal part about it was that I was sure that I was late! Terribly afraid that I was late! But when I arrived, there was a line of some 10-15 others there--all young white women. There were a few exceptions. A cute looking couple (male/female) were there, and then there was perhaps one man. And there was another girl's father, who was waiting there for her. He looked just like my ex landlord--except that he had an enormous handlebar mustache and was tattooed. You could tell he was military. Not even because of the shaved head or the tattoos, but because of the way he looked at things. It was surprising to me, and I wasn't sure if it was actually his facial structure that reminded me of my ex landlord, or his demeanor that made them look the same.

Anyway, among this sea of potential english teachers, there was one young woman who was leaving on Sunday (what I thought I was going to have to do.) She was stressing out. We were both on a time table. When I went up, I showed her my express envelope and said "I'm leaving on Tuesday." The woman behind the visa counter said "We can't get it to you by then." And I nearly had a heart attack, but after a few questions, I realized what she was trying to say was that she can't guarantee that the postal service can get it there on time. I figure that's a legitimate concern, but I'll take the USPS's word (and my 17.50 for express over night mail) on that. I just told her that as long as it was mailed on Friday, and she said, 'Oh, nono, we will have it on Friday.' So I went away okay. However, this other young woman, started to get angry and stomped off. It was weird. I tried to tell her, but she was paying attention to the woman behind the counter instead of the rest of the room.

There are some things about travel that I love, and then there are those awkward moments when anger gets the best of you, and you end up stuck on your own. It's hard to live without anger in a world where you don't understand anything, though. It's exhausting. Travel is great, but hoo boy it is not easy. I just keep reminding myself of that!